The path to true love rarely runs smoothly, and you can never be completely sure of where a first date and the beginning of a relationship will lead you. It takes time to get to know a person and to find out if the two of you are going to be compatible but there are three types of relationships that spell trouble. There are some romantic situations that you just know from the start will be fraught with difficulty and are probably best avoided to save yourself a lot of heartache and angst.
The love triangle
Everyone knows a love triangle is going to have a disappointing outcome for at least one of the three people involved, so it’s surprising how often this kind of relationship develops. Often, it’s a lot to do with proximity and familiarity. In a love triangle, a third person gets involved with someone who already has a relationship with someone else, and the third person usually knows both the other people.
Classic cases are when a woman starts seeing her best friend’s partner behind her back, or a man has an affair with his wife’s sister or another relative. Unlike other cases of adultery, the close personal link between the person who intrudes on the existing relationship and the person who is betrayed makes the whole situation much worse when the infidelity is discovered. This article from TheCircle explores the ways that people can deal with the consequences of being in a love triangle, but the safest policy is never to get caught up in one in the first place.
Seeing someone who’s married
Although not as complex as the love triangle, if you start a relationship with a married man, you know you’re not going to have an easy time of it. While he may promise you that he’s going to leave his wife and tell you that you mean more to him than she does, you can never really believe anything he says until he actually acts on it. While some women involved with married men claim to enjoy being the mistress, there usually comes a point when the fun stops. And, of course, that’s not to mention the guilt that you might feel for damaging an existing relationship; especially if they have children.
Of course, some relationships with a married man do turn out to be long-lasting, and some men do leave their wives. Life’s not black and white, and we can’t help who we fall in love with. But you can choose what to do with those feelings and you have to weigh up whether what you’ll get out of the relationship is worth the problems it might cause.
Being in a controlling relationship
Nobody wants to be in a relationship where they don’t feel they have as much freedom and independence as they would like and it’s unlikely that anyone would choose to go out with someone who they know is very controlling.
Unfortunately, the signs of being in a controlling relationship tend to develop over time, and by the time you recognise that your partner is the domineering type, you may have made commitments such as moving in together. Although the warning signs might be there from the beginning, in the first flush of romance, it’s easy to dismiss any concerns you might have. For example, if he’s very possessive, you might misinterpret this as him just being madly in love with you and wanting you all to himself.
Being in a controlling relationship can be very detrimental for your self-esteem and confidence. It may make you feel anxious or depressed, and isolated from your usual support network. If you feel you’ve got involved with someone who is very controlling, it can be difficult to adjust the relationship so that you share it on a more equal footing, or to end it. Seek the support of friends; don’t feel that you have to deal with this situation alone.
Relationships aren’t always easy, and if you’ve had a bad experience in the past, it may make you wary of seeking love again. But don’t be put off; there’ll be the right person out there for you somewhere. While there is no magic formula to finding the perfect relationship, there are some types of relationship that are better never to even begin, and if you can avoid them, your life will be a happier one.