Every December, we sigh it in deep, deep disbelief: Wow, what a year. New Year’s resolutions allow us an opportunity to look back at the last year with accountability and actively make decisions toward the year following that we pledge will make us happier, stronger, healthier people. It’s a holiday and practice about sweet, sweet endings, hope and the promise of beginnings. And as the year progresses and we experience new pain and new growth, we are regularly reminded of the promises we made to ourselves to be better individuals. It’s a heavy burden to consider, but there are definitely some golden claims. If you don’t know what you’d like to resolve this year, I always lean toward healthy self-improvement.
Accept yourself this year.
I get it – this one’s tough. At the beginning of each year, we basically vocally commit to reinventing ourselves, but recognise New Year’s isn’t a holiday about changing yourself specifically. It’s about changing and ditching negative habits or practices. You are great as is, and it’s about time we start believing that. If you want to take progressive steps toward your own self-growth, and I’m sure you do, then it’s time to take a step back and invest in exactly who you are in this moment in time. 2019 is an opportunity to be the best version of you; don’t sacrifice that in favour of being someone else altogether.
Cherish your solitude.
If you haven’t heard it before, it’s about time you do: single does notmean alone. Single does not mean unworthy. And single does notmean forever. You have plenty of time to build your life and contain it in a white-picket fence, but it’s important to feed into your independence and growth before then, and those steps absolutely looks different for everyone. Taking measured moments toward self-reflection this year through meditation, journaling and other activities are wonderfully practical ways to sit in your purpose. Because you, single, already have everything you need to make the next 365 days memorable.
Choose people who choose you.
We have all loved immeasurably, inconsequentially and without limit, but if that love is not returned in equal measure, consider this a formal invitation to let that person go. That’s right. I know it’s difficult to hear and even more difficult to do, but I promise you there is a world of individuals out there who know how to pour into you, who can remember your birthday, who know what a cell phone is and can return a phone call.
The truth is that friendships and relationships are absolutely tough, and life is busy, but relationships – be they amicable or otherwise – should neverfeel one-sided. You are worthy of so much more than that, and your time is valuable too! Keep people in your life who validate that self-worth and understand their own. Mutual regard for each other’s feelings is a strong indication that you have a long-lasting, valuable relationship on your hands that can withstand the tests of time and distance.
Stay present – and set goals if you have to!
Need I say more? Most of us were obsessed with consuming media this last year, and if you’re like me, you probably didn’t even realise you were scrolling most of the time! Believe it or not, this is a problem that won’t fix itself. Take time at the close of this year to reorient your relationship with social media and technology. Before we even enter the new year, set realistic goals about stepping back and unplugging every so often. Just putting down your phone during conversations with friends and family will deepen your relationships and assure others around you that you value your time with them. You owe it to yourself to not live your next year through a screen.
Know there is nothing to be afraid of.
Remember you’ve made it another year, and you’re going to do it again. You will undoubtedly be faced with many challenges and burdens this year – we all are – but you were momentarily thwarted by many obstacles this year, probably numerous naysayers and your own self-doubt, and yet here you are, another year down. Go you! Believe in your capacity to take on 2019 because all you have seen and experienced up until this very moment has equipped you for what’s to come.
You’ve got this, girl!