Whether you were dumped or you did the dumping, a breakup truly is a tough time for anyone. Everyone has different grieving techniques and react to the situation in a variety of ways. I am simply giving you a checklist of things you can do to be a few steps closer to healing your heart and getting back out there. If you are the organized list maker that gets serious satisfaction out of literally crossing off your to-do list, print this off and do them all!
It’s going to happen. Just get it over with. You may even have to repeat this step once more or maybe 10 more times, but just do it and get it out. There is no use trying to bottle it up.
- “Wine” about it.
Speaking of bottles, feel free to get a bottle of wine. Have it all to yourself or share it with a friend. They can sip on something while you walk them through every little detail of what happened.
- Un-friend and un-follow.
I beg you not to be a social-media-ex-lurker. As soon as possible, un-friend and un-follow this person on every social media account possible. As an extra precaution, you may want to block the person while you are at it, so you won’t see this person randomly pop up on your newsfeed because a mutual friend tagged them. Also, this makes it harder for you to try to creep on what they are doing in those moments of weakness.
- Watch a movie/TV series.
Do NOT watch a rom-com or sappy movie like The Notebook. Please watch a funny movie or show with as little romance as possible. Get wrapped up in characters’ lives for a little bit instead of focusing so much on what just happened in your own life.
Let the anger and frustration leave your body as you sprint on a treadmill or hit a punching bag. This lets you get anger out without having to break something. Those happy endorphins are nice too.
- Have a sing-along session and dance party to awesome break up songs.
Depending on how you are feeling, you could start with “Since U Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson and then go to the next level by moving up to her song, “Stronger.” Or there is always “Wide Awake” by Katy Perry if you are starting to see clearer or if you are a little bitter, go with “Part of Me.” We also know Taylor Swift has a song for any scenario. Sing your heart out and dance as much as you want. Shirt and/or pants are optional.
If you like to journal, write about your experience and how you are feeling as a way to relieve your mind and body. If writing is not your thing, try the journal method or write the person you have broken up with a letter. You don’t have to send it. You can write it all out and then throw it away if you want to. Writing it out is a great way to get that funky, negative and toxic stuff out.
- Eat or at least try to.
Whether you are one that likes to indulge after a break up or you are the type that usually doesn’t have an appetite after such an experience, attempt to eat either way. Get some good comfort food in your life.
- Spend time with people you love and that love you just as much.
As much as you want to spend time alone to wallow, you also need to make sure you spend time with family and friends. They know you best so they should know ways to cheer you up and get your mind off the heartache. It also doesn’t hurt to laugh with them too. I’ve heard it’s good medicine.
- Get rid of the things that reminds you of the ex.
Hide away the t-shirts you borrowed, get rid of the stuffed animal from Valentine’s Day, return the blanket they let you keep to snuggle with, take down the pictures in your room. You don’t want reminders of what used to be. Out of sight, out of mind.
Once you have gotten rid of the tangible things from the relationship and once you have removed them from the social media world, it will almost feel like this person never existed. They will just exist in your heart and memories of being together. And that’s okay. But you need to move forward and try not to think about it too much.
Once you have done all of these steps, you should feel a little bit better. It won’t totally go away, but you are at least 10 steps closer. Now that you have done your part, you hand it over to time and time will take care of the rest. Time is the healer of all. The farther away you get, the pain fades, and you become better. It will get better.