“Wow you are a really cool girl,” says long-haired hipster boy in a failed attempt to flatter me. I try to hold back an eye roll and point to Sarah. “No, that’s a really cool girl. Do you want me to introduce you?” Right on queue, Sarah throws back the rest of her Blue Moon and orders another beer. At this moment I think I hate her a little.
Stereotypes aren’t always true, except here…
I mean really, the stereotypes just write themselves. Long-haired hipster looks confused and slightly frightened as he realises I’m definitely not a “cool girl” and no longer knows what I’m capable of. I take pity on him and call Sarah over.
They proceed to bond over trendy alternative music, and a mutual interest in coffee shops that aren’t Starbucks. I quietly leave them and befriend the bartender. An hour and three bad sparkling wines later I’m about to call someone to come and get me when Sarah gives me the look.
Every girl knows this look. It’s the “I’m done with this guy, lets get out of here, now is the time to fake sick” look. I wink knowingly at her and close our tab. The night isn’t a total waste. I get to play my favourite role. My true ‘high-maintenance girl’ self.
“Okay we’re leaving. I’m done and if you don’t want to walk home alone you have two minutes while I pee to say your goodbyes.” I bark in Sarah’s direction. Hipster boy openly gapes at me. I love it.
Sarah and I have done this before, of course. She gives the hipster an apologetic look and says something that leaves him resembling a content bulldog; a weird hybrid expression of drooling and grinning.
I don’t hold back the eye roll this time. We skip out of the little dive bar we had stayed in way too long and head home to where our favourite pastime awaited us – watching Netflix on the couch in our underwear with the cats.
Obsessed with being the cool girl?
“Hey, that guy said you were pretty cool you know.” Sarah had the good sense to conceal her laugh under a cough while she mocked me.
“I hate everything about you, you know,” I mock her back.
Of course I don’t hate her. I do hate her type. Her worshipped, placed on a pedestal type. Cool girl, am I right? Gillian Flynn did the world a service when she coined the term in her best seller ‘Gone Girl.’
We Millennials have become so obsessed with the “cool girl” that we have made it an unattainable standard that shames anyone who dares to be different. Correcting people when they mistake sparkling wine for champagne (it has to come from France people) makes me look high maintenance. If you’re a smart girl, you have to play it down because nobody likes a know-it-all. Oh and don’t forget to be athletic! Guys love girls who know what off-side means.
Don’t lie to yourself!
Forgive me for not wanting to act like watching some guy play video games in his dirty frat house is my ideal Friday night. I will also order a salad on our date and if you’re going to dismiss me because I won’t scoff down half a cow the third time I’m seeing you, then you don’t deserve me sir.
Trying to adopt the “cool girl” persona is overrated. Honestly, being a “cool girl” in general is overrated. It instils this stupid notion that if you aren’t 500% laid back and go with the flow at all times there’s something wrong with you.
If you are a sporty girl, that’s great,
Are you a high maintenance girl? That’s great.
If you are a Star Wars loving, physics major girl, that’s great.
Being you is great. “Cool” or not.