One of my favourite quotes is “And in the end, we were all just humans…drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness.” The words of F Scott Fitzgerald. For me it speaks right to the core of how many single people feel, especially on days like Valentine’s day. Despite the day being highly commercialised, it can still be a painful reminder for those who aren’t keen on their single status.
Rewind 5 years or so and I definitely wouldn’t have been the right person to write this article. I hated being single and felt like all I need to be happy and complete was a boyfriend. I’m pretty sure any dates I had could sense this too – given they always ran a mile after a couple of drinks. My friends kindly nicknamed it the ‘six date curse’. But after a while I became exhausted by the effort and decided to just focus on having fun without a partner. I started writing more, doing yoga, baking, travelling and generally just doing all of the things I had been waiting to do with a partner.
There’s no denying that love is one of the best feelings in the world, but you don’t have to put your life on hold while you look. So here’s a few tips on embracing single life until the right man or woman comes along.
One of my favourite things about being single is how selfish I can be! I get to do what I want, when I want, without having to take into account anyone else’s opinion. I can make last minute plans without having to check in with anyone, watch Netflix on the sofa all day without feeling guilty and get up at 5.30am without waking anyone up. There’s going to come a time in your life when you meet someone and won’t get the opportunity to be completely selfish again, so enjoy it while you have the chance!
Find a new passion
How did you like to spend time when you were younger? Making things? Dancing? Looking at things under microscopes? (Maybe that last one was just me). The things we enjoyed doing when we were younger can indicate our innate passion, so use your single time to explore different hobbies and find yours. There are so many clubs and meet up groups nowadays that it’s almost impossible to choose one – from groups on public speaking, exercise classes, language learning, upholstery… There are literally hundreds of options to choose from and no excuse to be bored.
Spend time with friends and family
When you find your soul mate, you might have to share things like Christmas and birthdays across both families to keep it fair. I love being able to spend so much time with my family and friends without feeling guilty that my partner is missing out on time with theirs.
Go on the holidays you’ve always wanted to. I love travelling alone, mainly for reason 1 above, in that I can be selfish with the destinations I choose and how I spend my time, but also because of all the amazing people I’ve met when forced to step out of my comfort zone. If you’re worried about travelling alone then you can read my tips on how to travel solo here.
There are so many people whose situation is worse than our own and you only have to look at all the amazing charities out there to see that these people need our help. All big charities and many local councils have a volunteering section on their website so you can find an organisation that speaks to your heart. It’s impossible not to feel good after spending time helping others.
A lot of my single friends hate dating and treat it as a chore. While you might have to go through a fair share of ‘difficult’ ones, relish the opportunity to meet new people and practice your witty banter. Every man you meet might not be the one, but they will always have something interesting to say, or at least leave you with a funny story to tell your friends.
So go out, have fun and embrace your single status! The irony is that the more you enjoy life on your own, the more likely you are to be vibrating at a frequency that will attract a partner anyway – win win!