Most of us constantly look for people to make us happy. When in reality, people let people down all the time. For the most part, relationships can be known as a “happiness maker”. Therefore, we tend to look to our significant others, family members or friends to make us happy, but why is that? Why can’t we make ourselves as happy? I believe it’s because we have become dependent on others so much to the point in which we’ve forgotten how to rely on ourselves when it comes to how we feel.
For example, from my personal experience in the past with a relationship, I was so focused on my boyfriend, that I let go of myself while trying to make him “happy”. I started realizing that I needed him around all the time in order to feel happy and that’s when I realized something was very wrong!
It was then that I told myself that I needed time for me. I needed time to get myself back and I started focusing on what made me happy before him. It is not a healthy relationship if you lose yourself in the other person.
So the question I asked myself is… What makes me happy?
Here is the raw list I made for myself, and maybe you can search within yourself for similar reasons to be happy!
- Watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s or (any Audrey Hepburn movie, really!)
- Finding cool, new coffee shops
- Making my first cup of coffee in the morning
- Writing in my journal
- Uploading a new video on my YouTube channel
- Being present and enjoying time with my family
- Singing with my friends in the car with the windows down
- Laughing until my stomach hurts
- Traveling the world
- Discovering new music
After writing this list, I decided to do as much on it as I possibly could.
After doing so, I spent more days enjoying my morning coffee and looking forward to discovering new coffee shops. I watched more Audrey Hepburn movies, I wrote more, and I sang more in the car. I took the time in each day to breath and really look at things that interest me. I was always worried about my relationship that I didn’t take time for the things that I actually loved doing. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be in a relationship, it is the type of relationship that matters. A good relationship needs a good base and helping each other grow is very important.
So if you’re in a relationship that makes you feel like you’re losing yourself, it is probably not healthy.
Your personal happiness comes first, and if a relationship is making you unhappy that is a sign that you need to make a change.
Also, it could be any relationship, it doesn’t have to be a romantic one, friendships can be toxic as well. If you feel stuck it is important to remember that sometimes holding on can do more damage than letting go.
There is no shame in putting yourself first and doing what you think is best for you! The world is your runway!