Long ago, in a faraway land, someone came up with the grand idea that you will need to find me. There was some sort of declaration of responsibility, constitution, long list of amendments, or book of law written and signed off by someone that decided that you would have the duty to find me, swoon me, take me on dates, win over my heart, protect me from the bad guys and text me first all the while looking absolutely handsome doing it.
Talk about a lot of stuff you need to do.
It’s already a lot of pressure to find me. (I’m not good at directions, so I feel your pain.) Once you romantically bump into me somewhere like a coffee shop, party, or on the street, (just like the movies), you will be expected to talk first.
Cue the long list of standards provided to me by society, mass media, and Disney because, obviously, you will need to be tall, dark, and handsome. I should expect for you to text me first every time (and preferably every day). Girls like good morning and goodnight texts, right? Not only do you need to take me out on that first date, you will have the task of planning it. Did that book of law have a subsection of amendments that mentions the date needs to be creative too?
I am sure making that initial move to go for the first kiss isn’t too nerve racking either.
Society has us so busy with our own standards to be a size 2, have curves like a Kardashian, eyebrows on fleek, cook instagram worthy recipes, have a career, and be an overall ladyboss, so we don’t have much time to worry about what you go through too. I mean we are even influenced to wake up a certain way.
While we worry and work on our standards, yours are to be as smooth as Ryan Gosling and have the dance moves of Channing Tatum. It would be great for you to pull off suits like Christian Grey and have the voice of Justin Timberlake. That wouldn’t hurt either.
As if these hurdles aren’t enough, us Generation Y folks have done a great job at upping the stakes and have added more walls to break through and monsters to our closet that make fighting a dragon seem more appealing.
This is where social media has had a hand in our relationships. We can start judging a person and find potential deal breakers even before we actually meet a person. Trust issues are rising because it has become so much easier to break rules in dating. Oh, and those other trust issues involving Catfishing, too many filters, and the like.
We search real hard to see if a guy is in a relationship or not and if what he is telling us is actually true. All of us second-guess other’s relationship statuses as much as we second-guess certain outfit choices. We are in a time where guys outright declare, “the girls in my pics are all friends” in their Tinder profiles because we are all that curious and paranoid.
Social media also has a way of raising the expectations when “friends” in our social networks are making elaborate posts about relationships that range from the best. date. ever. to creative “I said yes” pictures of the new ring. Wedding pictures don’t just hang on walls of the happy couple’s homes, but also grace our news feeds.
It’s hard to get away and it’s hard not to be persuaded to want the same things too.
I feel for you, Prince Charming. I really do. There are a lot of hurdles to jump through, walls to break through, tasks to be completed, dates you need to take me on and monsters that need to be coaxed out of my closet only for you to have a chance at my heart.
Hopefully, your millennial mind has the attention span longer than 140 characters at a time to focus on winning me over. Let’s see if you have longer patience than waiting on a Jimmy John’s delivery to pursue me. And please try not to be overwhelmed and suffer from FOMO because there are just so many princesses to choose from.
I’ll hope you find me eventually and that I make all this mess worth it. So then we can live happily ever after (and never fight, of course).