Hey Nomi. I have a kind of deep, intense question for you so if you find it hard to answer, it would be helpful to hear what you think you would do in my position. I’m 22, still in college and have just found out I’m pregnant. My boyfriend would be supportive whatever I decide and he’s stable in terms of career and money. I definitely don’t feel ready to have a baby but at the same time, I’m such an emotional person that I don’t know if I could ever get over an abortion. I’m so stuck and feel like I’m too all the over the place to make any sort of decision – Tami.
Have an abortion.
You just answered the only question that matters: “I definitely don’t feel ready to have a baby.” Just view it as a medical procedure – something you’re doing for your own health and safety.
The authors of Freakanomics, the book that become a global sensation and now has a supporting documentary and podcast, set out to uncover the cause of lowered crime rates in the 1990s. No one could find supporting evidence that it was policing practices, drug use, or a surging economy. The crime rates seemed to mysteriously just…drop. Stick with me here.
The 1990s also happened to be when the first wave of children born after Roe v. Wade* were hitting their early young adult phase. The same phase of life when men (sorry, it’s mostly men) would begin criminal activities. The crime rate began to fall when this generation all came of age minus the children whose mother’s hadn’t wanted children and were able to make that decision. All the would be criminals, the kids who would have been born into a home or family situation that was less than desirable, to mothers who weren’t ready, or weren’t willing to have a child, were never born. States that had early legalization of abortions (New York, California, Washington, Alaska, Hawaii) witnessed a %13 drop in violent crime compared to all other states, with murder rates falling 23% more than other states as well.
You feel that you are an emotional person and “wouldn’t be able to get over having an abortion,” but would you be able to “get over” raising a child without an adequate skill set to do so? Without even the desire to do so? Could you “get over” the possibility of the type of life that child may live being raised by children him or herself? There are plenty of people out there who will disagree with this, and that’s fine. It’s each individual woman’s decision to make. I’m sure if you have the baby you will love it more than you’ve even thought possible to love something. But you’re twenty-two for pete’s sake! Now is the time to love yourself the most.
Best of luck with your decision, Tami.
* Roe v. Wade was the landmark decision by the Supreme Court that marked unconstitutional the state laws that banned abortions