Valentine’s Weekend Special: Nomi Leasure On… A Painful Breakup With Someone Special

by Nomi Leasure

I just recently went through a breakup with the love of my life to find out not even a month later he is already seeing someone else. How do I stop feeling so angry and hurt? How do I let go? – Gabby M.

Dear Oh-Damn,

Didn’t see that coming, did you? Your dude totally broke breakup protocol. Doesn’t he know how completely un-classy it is to hop right into another relationship when the wounds from the last one are barely healed?

Except… not. Except there really is no breakup protocol. Except, hey! He’s rebounding, and honestly, I can’t blame him for that.

When we’re hurt, we seek remedy for our pain. If it’s a person who has caused us pain, a lot of times, we’ll seek the remedy in another person. That really sucks that while you’re still healing it seems he’s already completely whole.

Except… not. Don’t assume that just because he’s with someone else right now he’s not still hurting from the breakup you two had. Don’t assume he’s “over it,” or “in love,” or “completely fine.” If you two really were the loves of each other’s lives (which I doubt seeing as you broke up… clearly the Universe has other plans for you both) then he’s still in pain too. He’s just handling it a different way.

My advice to you is to do the same. Distract yourself from the pain by hanging with another guy. Maybe this new guy won’t be the one but he’ll take your mind off things. Because right now it seems you might be paying this old guy a bit too much attention. You might be wondering how to get your ex back but you have to give him time and if it’s meant to be it’ll be.

You don’t want to be angry and hurt? Stop looking into your ex’s life. Stop checking his Instagram, stop asking mutual friends how he is, stop replaying all the good old times in your head. If you’re going to break up with someone, let it be a clean break.

Plus, I bet that new chick isn’t even cute.


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