Nomi Leasure… On Whether Love Is Enough

by Nomi Leasure

Do you think love is enough to make a relationship work? If two people are madly in love with each other and want to be together, is that enough? Even if they’re incompatible in a lot of ways and have really different thought processes about almost everything… I’m having a think about my relationship and deciding what I want for my future. You seem to have it SO together – Annabelle, Toronto

Dear Delusional,

I do not have it all together. So we can begin there. In fact… I’ve tossed your very question around in the ‘ol noggin ohhh just about every few weeks or so. Is love enough? Well, of course it’s not.

Did you know that people who enter into arranged marriages are drastically less likely to get divorced? There are some cultural elements at play there… like potentially being killed or exiled for denying an arranged partner… but the thought is that when you approach a relationship more as a duty than something built on love and butterflies and unicorns it actually works. In arranged marriages some people will tell you they grow to love their partner, but that the household, the family, the duty to the other person is what comes first.

However, being insanely in love and mildly obsessed with one another is what has seemed to hold my relationship intact — mixed with allowing one another to go off and explore on our own. It can definitely be difficult when you and your partner don’t seem to see eye to eye on a lot of things, but being with someone who challenges the way you see the world can be a good thing. There’s more growth in that situation, and less room for boredom.

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