Stop Comparing: Why We Need To Compliment People More

by Rachel Marshall

Stop comparing! One of the easiest things to do is to compare ourselves to another person. One of the hardest things to do is to compliment that person after we’ve just compared ourselves to them.

“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle” – James Keller

In the past, women would likely compare themselves more to the women they would see in magazines or on TV shows and movies. Now, with social media, not only are we comparing ourselves to the women gracing magazine covers, we are also comparing ourselves to the girls we personally know.

You can scroll through Instagram and start to feel your self-esteem drop a little when you see a gorgeous picture posted by a girl you went to school with. You can now see how you are doing in life compared to the girl you used to work with by browsing through her Facebook profile.

With celebrities, we can expect some unrealistic expectations because we may not have a personal trainer or photoshopped pictures of ourselves. But when we see a friend or someone we personally know look a certain way (or has dropped 10 pounds or achieved something great), it’s hard not to think, “Well if she can do it, why can’t I?”

Stop comparing their highlights with your everyday

Social media has made it so much easier to post our shining moments and successes, which is making it harder not to compare and feel like we aren’t doing enough or we aren’t pretty enough when we measure ourselves against the girl next door.

In this toxic cloud of comparison, we forget that even the girls that seem picture perfect probably have similar insecurities. Maybe she is as self-conscious about her nose just as much as you are about your thighs.

We typically post the smiles and the happy moments in our lives so we often forget the other moments that we are less willing to share. Everyone experiences highs and lows, every day struggles and sadness from time to time. We are all human.

So, I am challenging all of us to try to reprogramme our brains to stop comparing so much. When you catch yourself comparing, instead think about complimenting. If you genuinely think that girls picture is gorgeous, tell her. If you like your co-worker’s manicure, tell her. Tell the girl taking your coffee order that she has pretty eyes.

Compliments can feel awkward or hard at first, but they get easier once you start making it a habit. Don’t keep a compliment trapped. Let it out so it can bring someone a smile. “Like” the nice photo, post a comment, or send a message. Compliments are free to give and can make another person feel great, as well as yourself. YOU are beautiful, so make others feel the same way.

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