Using Your Early Twenties For Finding Yourself Rather Than Finding Love

by Camila Leon

People say our twenties are some of the best years of your life. Because why not? You’re young, you don’t have too many crazy responsibilities and nothing is tying you down.

So why does it seem like so many people use these years searching for that ONE thing? Love.

I’ve seen young people desperate to find love and a relationship only to end up lost and heartbroken. Too often, people get into relationships before they realise what they truly want or don’t want.

It’s true that often times we must live through an experience in order to find out what it is that we do and don’t want. But I have also found that a large part of knowing what we want comes from truly knowing ourselves.

I learned that finding yourself isn’t as perfectly mapped out as we thought; but the process doesn’t have to be overwhelming either. As 20-somethings, we are all fresh, new members of adult society. As much as we may like to think we have it all figured out, we usually don’t.  We are constantly in a state of turbulence, change and growth. Even deciding what to have for lunch can seem like a life-altering decision.

Your love life is a reflection of these transitions, and that is entirely okay. In fact, it’s the way it should be.

Our early twenties are the best years to be selfish, experiment and find exactly who we are and what we want. Now is the time to for us to make decisions – right or wrong – that are best for us, not everyone else. Whether it’s stumbling your way through your degree or finding what you’re passionate about, these will be the best years of your life. These are the years before reality sets in and you join the real world with major responsibilities.

So do yourself a favor and don’t waste your twenties!  Put to rest the constant complaints surrounding your love life. If you spend all of your time focusing on someone else, you’ll rob yourself of the opportunities that are entirely for you. Whether or not you’re in a relationship, dating or single, get out there and do everything you can. You should be a little selfish and give yourself this chance to figure things out and establish who you are as an individual.

Being single does not mean you are destined to spend the rest of your life forever alone with your cats. I promise. Honestly, being single is actually awesome. Until you get over the negative stigma associated with your single status and learn to love and embrace it, you probably aren’t really ready for a relationship.

Being single shouldn’t be about being lonely; it should be about doing whatever the hell you want. Own your independence. Take on every opportunity and do everything you want to do without having to consider someone else. This doesn’t mean you aren’t cut out for a relationship or are un-datable – it means you are capable of standing on your own two feet and loving yourself without needing someone else to. And that, quite frankly, is one of the most attractive traits anyone can possess.

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