What I Learnt When My Life Fell Apart

by Cristina Oliveras

“Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together.” We have all heard this or seen it at least once on our Facebook timelines or on someones Instagram caption. It’s a figure of hope for when things go south in our lives. I’m not talking about bad mornings or bad dates.  I’m talking about the times when your life seems to be crumbling down before your feet and when every little thing that could possibly go wrong does. It tends to happen all at once and to be honest, it’s quite devastating.

You stop and wonder, did you do something in your past life to have deserved such injustice? Or is this some sick joke some higher power is playing on you? Although we pray for this life to be courteous and equal with us through all of our problems, these endeavors we find ourselves in happen to us all and they’re necessary.

That’s right! It is important and even a necessity for our lives to fall apart at least once. A good friend of mine once told me “We are being tested in the most beautiful of ways.” These trials we encounter in life are crucial for our development. Imagine the people we would be if we didn’t struggle from time to time, and face the pain of loss or injustice. While it may not feel like it at the time, it is so important for shit to hit the fan every once in awhile. Mine has. In all honesty, despite the all too familiar discomfort, the tears and the overwhelming feeling of sadness in my core, I am thankful for it. I am thankful for the perspective and wisdom I’ve gained.

Here’s why:


When you experience emotional and spiritual turmoil, it can feel nearly impossible to get your thoughts together and filter out all the negative ones. Staying positive when your world feels like it’s falling apart is no easy task. But what you have to realize is that there are still good things that deserve all of your efforts and are worth feeling better for. These things are impossible to ignore. You learn to appreciate those things and by seeing that, you start to feel that eminent moment when the silver lining appears. Gratitude heals.


Feeling as if your life has fallen apart and that this couldn’t possibly get any worse is a rough feeling to endure. It causes aches and pains you’ll never forget. But once you’ve felt that to it’s core and know what it truly feels like to feel defeated, you’ll soon come to realise something important. It’s not really much about the reason why all of this is happening to you, but really about how you choose to respond to it.

It won’t be easy and it will hurt so much. You are the one who decides how you’re going to deal with it. Whether it be by crying, drinking, locking yourself in your apartment, or refusing to get out of bed each morning, you must take it in and deal with it.  However, ultimately, you make the decision to keep going. Life continues either way and you have to be the one that decides to either bask in your problems and let them ruin you, or to take control.

You have to realize that life is neither fair or unfair. It is just that. Life. You have no control over anything that may happen in it. The only true control you have in this world is your mind and what you decide to harvest your energy in. Perspective is everything to the human mind. Our minds have the power to self destruct. When you realize that, you realize you literally shouldn’t sweat the small stuff.


Sometimes dealing with all of this can be a strain for those around you as well. During times of difficulty, we are forced to reach out to our friends and family for their support. That’s a hard thing to ask for, and it takes quite a bit of sacrifice from the other end to be able to hold you up when you’re down. But that’s something that hard and dark times taught me. You start to notice who is really there for you and who’s just there when you’re up on your feet.


It may not look like it right now, but that quote “some things fall apart for better things to fall together” really does have some clarity to it. Maybe this is just what you need in order for the right thing to fall together. In fact, when things go haywire in our lives, they tend to do so in pretty messed up ways. It could all be extremely overwhelming and imminent. It is when we hit our lowest of the lows that we tend to find deep within ourselves the will to keep going, because it feels like we have nothing else to lose. Not all is really lost. You literally have all that you need already inside you. Reaching that epiphany is extremely rewarding and the key to realizing that once you get rid of all that extra baggage of negativity, success will be waiting for you.

Letting Go

Eventually through the midst of all of this turmoil and defeat, you come to realize that you have the choice of how this will affect you. There is very little (if anything) in this world that you can control. The only thing that will always be in your power is your mind. When you finally get to that point of understanding, that is when you will feel relief. You will come to realize that you have the power to decide how things will affect you.

All of these things happening are just a part of life and everyone goes through them, all in different scenarios. You can either suffer through it or be aware that life will just happen no matter what, and you can choose to live it happily and consciously. It has been a very liberating feeling to know that things that are meant to be, really will just be.

It’s so important to understand that life brings troubles to us all. We all at some point will suffer through something, and that is inevitable. But ultimately, as humans we also have the ability to make choices. Letting these turmoils knock you down and keep you down is one of them, but you can also decide to get yourself back up, get through it, and make changes for yourself. You may be surprised to see that all that’s falling apart right now is actually bringing you closer to where you are supposed to be.

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