Have you ever been out on a date that hours before was filled with promise and hope, and once you’re actually on the date you are counting the seconds until it’s over, so that you can go home and call your ex?
There really is something about being out with someone who completely does not tickle your fancy that makes your ex look damn phenomenal. In fact, our ex’s should thank these poor suckers that remind us just how great they are.
Why are they exes at all then? You probably asked yourself this question forty times while on the date. Regardless of if they dumped you or you dumped them, we have all been there, literally counting the seconds until we could get them back; a realization we were so unaware of until a horrible date.
So what is it? Why on this ONE date do we feel such an urge that we literally cannot wait to talk to that special someone. Odds are, one, two, or all of the below are what is going through your head:
- You miss the comfort of them: Until now you weren’t fully aware that you are actually single again. You forgot what it is like to sit through awkward dinner conversation, and to be with someone where you don’t know what to tease them about. You hate not being able to remind them to order their entree without their least favorite ingredient. You miss being with someone who you can sit in a comfortable silence with for a minute or two.
- They lack your favorite characteristics of your ex: Lets just say the thing you loved the most about your ex was how he could make you laugh in any situation. If your new date has no sense of humor, it makes you miss your ex that much more because it points out something that you appreciated about him. Not having your favorite characteristic in a new person makes it seem like an even bigger deal to move on with someone different.
- You realize how hard it is to find someone who you are compatible with: There is nothing like being single to remind you that there are a lot of weirdos out there. This date is just further proof. Even if it isn’t all that bad, it makes you realize that it is hard as sh*t to find someone you are actually compatible with. Where conversation flows easily, both parties are extremely interested in each other, and you get the butterflies.
- You appreciate them more for who they are: You realize those big “flaws” your ex had, that you thought were deal breakers, really aren’t that big of a deal after all. No matter the flaw or flaws, you start to take into consideration your chemistry, and how happy you were with them. With chemistry being top of your mind (or lack there of on your current date) the flaws start to seem like water under the bridge.
- If you were the dumper, you wonder if you made the right choice: All of the above mentioned are definitely going to make you question if you did the right thing. Your lack of interest in your current date makes you romanticize all of the good times with your ex. It’s the perfect recipe for you to start to question your judgment, maybe just maybe you wrote that ex off too soon!
- Biggest reason of all, you realize you still have feelings for them: Nothing makes you realize that you miss what you had more than having your face smothered in what you don’t have. This date not only shocks you with the fact you are single, and dating, but all of the feelings you’re experiencing prove that you still have feelings for your ex. Even if you thought you were over it, you are not.
So lets be honest, if you are on a date with someone and thinking any or all of the aforementioned, it totally sucks for the person you are on a date with. When these are the things running through your mind between courses, do your best to be present, and address them later. If you get anything out of this date at all, it is that you have to definitely figure out what is going on with your ex before you go on another date!