Silence, clarity, and learning what it’s like to listen to our own hearts and our own minds; it can be way more beneficial than you might think. Being alone allows us time to remember what we strive for in life and what our goals for ourselves are, without the influence and chatter of friends or family (or difficult exes).
When going through stressful situations, such as coming out of a relationship, it may be hard at first. You may be uncomfortable going to a coffee shop or bookstore by yourself, but in the long run, being alone can help instill independence, confidence, and self-worth within yourself and your abilities. All of those attributes can only make us better and love ourselves more than we already do!
Solitude allows you to reboot your brain and unwind; constantly being “on” doesn’t give your brain a chance to rest and replenish itself.
When I broke up with my ex-boyfriend this past year, I made it my mission to travel solo around Europe, at least for a few short weekend trips. The thought was terrifying, not just for myself, but my friends and family were surprised that I was going to be completely alone in brand new cities, where I hardly knew the languages.
I’ve found out one thing from solo traveling and spending so much time in my own company; people are a little bit intimidated by those who can actually do things by themselves. My closest friends are still dumbfounded when I tell them I have absolutely no problem going to the cinema, lunches, or even dinners out by myself. It’s almost taboo that I’m so independent enough to do these things that society has told us is “weird” to do alone.
What is wrong with going to see a silly rom-com by yourself when everyone else refuses to go with you?
I’m here to tell you there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! It’s one of the most empowering things, to be able to be peaceful in your own company and discover what you really enjoy doing without having to please the presence of someone else and keep them occupied with your company.
Being alone allows you to find yourself, as cliché as that may sound. You learn what you are comfortable in doing by yourself and how to navigate your own life, based on your personal preferences and how you choose to spend your days. I was extremely lost when I was out of a relationship and I didn’t know how to do a lot of these things by myself. I had fallen out of love with myself over the course of the relationship. Self recognition is crucial to your happiness; you need to understand what makes you happy at your core, how you can stay true to yourself, and how you want to devote time to your need in a busy world.
Time alone can help you just be. Some days are overwhelming and over-stimulating, and the quiet and serenity of not having to talk or please people, can be one of the most refreshing things this world has to offer. You don’t have to go out and backpack Thailand for three months by yourself, but maybe start small by taking one of your favorite novels to a quiet coffee shop one Sunday and just read and sip your favorite drink.
Spring is a great time to do this, explore the warmth and uniqueness of your city, and get lost in your own happiness.
At the end of the day, your only have yourself and as you grown up, this will be even more so. By learning to not rely on others, you forge your own path. You learn so much more about your likes and dislikes in life. Being alone is essential to sanity and happiness, two keys parts of living. Just get out and enjoy what this wonderful world has to offer!