Do you ever feel that twitch in your heart when a child smiles at you?
Do you ever feel that tug on your uterus when a child says your name?
Does your heart feel like it’s melting when you hear a child laugh?
Do you ever feel that rush of excitement when a child walks over to you for the first time?
No? Me neither!
I can safely say I have never felt an obligation to reproduce. Why, as a woman do I need to have children? I don’t want one and never have! People are surprised when I tell them I hate children. It’s the shock of someone standing in front of them telling them that they won’t bring a child into the world.
The usual reply is “Give it a few years”. No thanks, I won’t be giving it a few years. Just because you’ve said that line doesn’t mean I’ve automatically changed my mind just like that, my choice isn’t switching a light bulb on and off. And in saying that line you’ve instantly offended me. I have no maternal bone in my body so I wouldn’t like to inflict this on to an innocent child. Ultimately it is my choice and I wont be having a child because society says it’s the right thing to do.
I have all the parts, I’m choosing to not to make the use of them.
Hate is a strong word but I really can’t stand them. I’m not proud of it but I am that person who judges parents when their kids are screaming in the middle of shops, public transport or anywhere for that matter.
Here’s a snippet list of my reasons why I wont be having kids:
1. Headache inducing screaming
2. Crying all the time
4. When said poo goes everywhere
5. Sleep schedule
7. Sick that covers everything
8. No matter what their hands are always sticky
9. Lack of sleep during the night
10. Early mornings
11. Lack of privacy
12. Having to think of them first (apparently it’s the right thing to do)
13. No more peaceful holidays without feeling guilty for not taking them
14. Hospital trips
15. Doctors/dentist appointments
17. Extra curricular activities
18. Tied to school timetables
19. Playdates with other kids means extra screaming
20. The constant need for attention
21. Everything takes longer to do
22. Constant questions
A Choice for Me
It is a choice. I have happily made the choice for myself to not have children because I don’t feel like I need to put all my love into another human being. Spending money on myself is fun – cocktail dates with friends, shopping whenever I want, working and going home when I decide. I’m selfish and that’s ok.
The fact is, I will be that Auntie most people have who shows up at Christmas and birthdays with amazing presents, who gets drunk in the corner, who teaches the kids swear words and tells them inappropriate stories. I’ll also be the auntie the kids run away to when they have an argument with their parents, my friends. And again, I’m ok with that!