The Valentine’s Day Struggle: Single Or Not

by Heather Young

It’s that time of year again folks, a holiday you either love or love to hate… welcome to the Valentine’s Day struggle. Now, I’m not that negative person who is against Valentine’s Day. You know, that bitter friend we all have who is constantly, “I hate this, I hate that” or “Why am I single?”

I absolutely loved this holiday as a kid. All the cool little Valentine cards with chocolate and how it was an excuse to stop school work so that you could have a class party. Back then Valentines’s Day was easy. You loved everyone and everyone loved you – or they were forced to because giving a Valentine to every kid in class was a standard rule.

When you get older this holiday turns into a day in which you are judged, excluded and pressured. Sounds fun doesn’t it? I’m not talking about this holiday from a single standpoint, I’m looking at this bad boy from a wide angle because I think even if you are in a relationship this holiday is still a struggle and here’s why.

The Pressure

There is an insane amount of pressure around this holiday. Guys and girls have to figure out a creative yet romantic way to show they care without being overly cheesy. Then there’s the added pressure of having to pay for it all. However, we don’t have to pay heaps of money or search for days for the best present to win over your partner. When it comes to originality, the best presents can be found online. For instance, a custom photo moon lamp (Benutzerdefinierte Foto Mood Lampe for the German readers) is a beautiful way to show your love creatively; this is a great present for a bedside table to be reminded of you and your partner at all times.

I understand the allure of this. This is your chance to present your lover with a thoughtful token of your love… the key word in that sentence being “thoughtful.” I know a few guys who would cringe at the thought of having to spend more than 30 minutes thinking about what to get their girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. Don’t act like you don’t know them… they’re the kind that normally get a gift from the local supermarket 20 minutes before the date.

Although I have a tendency to say, “Hey come on, put some effort into it,” on some level I can also understand that meeting romantic expectations is tough. Girls have this image of what we all think a romantic Valentine’s Day is supposed to look like thanks to all the wonderful rom coms out there. But, when it comes to reality those “movie moments” are difficult to find.

Why Must We Only Show Our Love On One Day?

You’re supposed to show your love and appreciation everyday, not just once a year. I’ve never understood why you have one designated day to show your significant other that you love them. In my mind, if I’m in a relationship with you, you better be making me feel special on other days too.

I guess you could make the argument that Valentine’s Day is the day in which you go above and beyond to show you care but is it really that special when you go all out on a day in which it is expected that you do so? Wouldn’t it be even better if you didn’t expect it? Like if he or she decided to show you how much you mean to them on a random Wednesday?

Just a thought…

I Love Me

This is the one holiday in which all singles are made to feel as if they are banished from festivities. I mean, what other holiday really draws attention to the fact that you’re single and then makes you feel horrible about it?

Not to mention your friends, co-workers and family members telling you about their big plans and then turning to you to ask, “What do you have planned?” knowing that your plans do not consist of spending time with a significant other. You tell them you’re going to treat yourself to a massage or watch films with some friends and this often leads to pitiful looks.

If you are single this coming Valentine’s Day, take a lesson from my girl Hailee Steinfeld and love yourself. Remember, there’s one thing about Valentine’s Day that isn’t a struggle and that’s all the chocolate that goes on sale right after. There’s that silver lining.

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